Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Have a Seizure Y'all

My friends!

Wake up!  Turn off your Harry Potter marathons, (Not only is it a waste of time that you're watching TV in the summer, but Harry Potter no less.  That's right.  I went there.  Come at me.) and put away the DirtDevil, that's the fourth time this week you've vacuumed, if you keep at it you won't have carpet left.  It's time for the Ike30!  You read it right, because of those who are afraid for their souls we took out "Dirty" for those Holier-Than-Thous that insist, despite there being a depressing void of dirtiness in my dance parties, on labeling them a tool of Satan.  Because as you know, if it doesn't look dirty, sound dirty, smell dirty...it's still dirty.  Whatever you do, don't ask them to classify ducks for you.  Because I can guarantee that they will suck at it.  Because it could have fur, bark and play dead and it will be a duck.  Either that or they may have been born with a lack of any basic sensory perception, in that case, I take everything back. Sorry, sheesh I can't help if I'm a heartless, well, you know what.

So here are the deets and this time READ them people, it's called the modern miracle of a planner, y'all are starting to sound like my parents, checking the time by the sun and all:

Anyway.  So I have about gone insane with the amount of dance music that I have pored through the last 8 months of the existence of the Ike30 so I have turned this one over to my twin, four biological generations and 3 years removed, John Bennion, to handle this playlist with yours truly collaborating.  But astonishingly we basically have the same iTunes library, so I can guarantee you one thing:  there will be at least one Dubstep song.  K, quit groaning.  I have heard it time and again, "But I don't know how to dance to Dubstep."  I have found a diagram to help the lot of you poor souls.  Let's go to the chalkboard:
Easy right?  Part of dancing is called leaving your inhibitions at the door.  The crazier the seizure the better.  Fear not, for those of you who are concerned about actually having a seizure on the dance floor, back in the day when I used to be delusional, I dreamed of being a doctor and have taken way too many classes to help me spot a real seizure.  You would be doing me a favor.  For those of you who don't know how to have a seizure?  I have methods.  But for legal reasons we shall not discuss these here.


Never out fishing, because I always drop the bass,  (No? Finnnnne.)


Ike


P.S.  If you have requests, we want them!!!!!!!

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