Two Step Explained In...Well, Two Steps.

Alright y'all.  Despite there having been 8, count them, 8 Ike30s we all seem to be a bunch of white people trying to dance. No, it doesn't just seem that way, it is that way.

So I have recruited a black guy to teach us how to dance.  You are welcome.  I am a Boy Scout and this is my good deed for today.

So, watch, observe, practice and if all else fails, well, I hope you don't fail, it's essentially a masters course in wobbling.

Have a Seizure Y'all

My friends!

Wake up!  Turn off your Harry Potter marathons, (Not only is it a waste of time that you're watching TV in the summer, but Harry Potter no less.  That's right.  I went there.  Come at me.) and put away the DirtDevil, that's the fourth time this week you've vacuumed, if you keep at it you won't have carpet left.  It's time for the Ike30!  You read it right, because of those who are afraid for their souls we took out "Dirty" for those Holier-Than-Thous that insist, despite there being a depressing void of dirtiness in my dance parties, on labeling them a tool of Satan.  Because as you know, if it doesn't look dirty, sound dirty, smell dirty...it's still dirty.  Whatever you do, don't ask them to classify ducks for you.  Because I can guarantee that they will suck at it.  Because it could have fur, bark and play dead and it will be a duck.  Either that or they may have been born with a lack of any basic sensory perception, in that case, I take everything back. Sorry, sheesh I can't help if I'm a heartless, well, you know what.

So here are the deets and this time READ them people, it's called the modern miracle of a planner, y'all are starting to sound like my parents, checking the time by the sun and all:

Anyway.  So I have about gone insane with the amount of dance music that I have pored through the last 8 months of the existence of the Ike30 so I have turned this one over to my twin, four biological generations and 3 years removed, John Bennion, to handle this playlist with yours truly collaborating.  But astonishingly we basically have the same iTunes library, so I can guarantee you one thing:  there will be at least one Dubstep song.  K, quit groaning.  I have heard it time and again, "But I don't know how to dance to Dubstep."  I have found a diagram to help the lot of you poor souls.  Let's go to the chalkboard:

Easy right?  Part of dancing is called leaving your inhibitions at the door.  The crazier the seizure the better.  Fear not, for those of you who are concerned about actually having a seizure on the dance floor, back in the day when I used to be delusional, I dreamed of being a doctor and have taken way too many classes to help me spot a real seizure.  You would be doing me a favor.  For those of you who don't know how to have a seizure?  I have methods.  But for legal reasons we shall not discuss these here.

Never out fishing, because I always drop the bass,  (No? Finnnnne.)

Ike

P.S.  If you have requests, we want them!!!!!!!

Blowing Out a Playlist with Michael Jackson

The people have spoken! First, people demanded a themed 30, then they requested the hits of yesteryear, so as a accommodating hosts, we delivered and give you, The Throwback 30.  We do what we can to please dancers.  (Plus I have had a secret desire to blow out a playlist with Michael Jackson.)

The playlist is packed with the dancinest (take note Webster's) beats the yonder side of 1990*.  So dress accordingly!  The black lights will be making yet another appearance so make sure to bring their friends, neon and white and whatever else that glows. (Don't forget your neon highlighters!)

Unfortunately, we still have to establish this ground rule:  Dancers=Welcome.  Standers=Explicitly Uninvited. :( Sorry, standers, we still love you but until you move to the groove, this 30 is not for you.

Now in a moment of seriousness.  We have been borrowing the speaker system for Battleschool as facilitated by the lovely (but taken) Amy Nguyen.  Battleschool has need of their speakers, so we are going independent and buying a speaker system for ourselves, so we are asking for a suggested donation of $3, but anything you can give helps.  Donations can be dropped off at the 30 at the Audio/Visual table.  We call this effort For the Love of Bass in order to ensure future Dirty 30s and thusly to ensure future generations do not end up as standers (gasp!).  Do it for the children!

Please reply to this email with your RSVP (Attending, Maybe, Declined).  The invite is open.  So send!  FWD!

*As a disclaimer:  After poring over nearly 400 of the Billboard 100s of each year of the 1980s, I could not compile a playlist that meets the standards of a playlist of the Dirty 30.  So the playlist will have A LOT of 80s hits, but will not be completely 80s in order to maintain the quality you've come to expect of the Dirty 30.  Sorry 80s, ya should have danced harder.  But, with that said, please help us out with 80s (or regular) requests!  Please still dress in your favorite 80s get up!

Likeomygosh

Alright all of you beat addicted crazies, it's your dealer speaking, the Throwback 30 is eminent! So prepare yourself to leave it ALL on the floor. I don't want to hear about any of this "Furious 15" nonsense. That only means you didn't dance hard enough. That's almost as grievous as being a stander...almost.

This reminder email is going out early to remind you to bring (or find) your best 80's outfit (the more neon and white the better) and your best 80's verbiage because it's about to get bodacious! Likeohmygosh like totally!  Ok that's quite enough. Like oh yeah, bring a highlighter.  I hate myself right now.

And For the Love of Bass, people!! Help us out so that we can upgrade our speaker system so we can keep the fight alive against Standerism. Millions are afflicted with it annually!  A suggested donation to For the Love of Bass of $3 (or anything at all) can be dropped off where the magic happens:  The A/V table.  Or in my waistband/suspenders, whichever is more appealing to you.  ;) Ok, fine A/V table it is.  I get it.

Bring your posse.  Standers explicitly not welcome, reply to this email if you haven't RSVP'd yet. Blah, blah, blah you know the drill. The only thing bigger than this dance party will be your regret if you don't come. 

Boom! I said it.

Shakin' it always,

Ike

P.S.  Here is a website for 80s costume inspiration.  To the DI!

http://www.tripletsandus.com/80s/fashion.htm

So HAWT!

P.P.S.  FWD!

Welcome

So this blog is about all things Ike30 (or Dirty 30, but Dirty 30 was taken as a blog address. Convenient, eh?) So this blog has all of the best (and worst) of the Ike30 invites and dance tutorials to help you groove your way through the greatest 30 minutes of your life. The Dirty 30.

So, get ready to look mortified when your roommate walks in while you are practicing these dance moves, but then conveniently have a way out when you say, "OMG! Did you read this ridiculous email that some crazy dude wrote?" You are welcome. Amounts of gratitude can be shown in large bills.

Thank you.